You have your degree in your hands and full of energy you step onto the career path. But how do you make the right choice within the endless possibilities that stretch out before you? Do you automatically follow the most obvious path or do you dare to take a surprising turn after a while? Alumna Mellany van Heijningen (37) did the latter and exchanged her managerial position as a chemical technologist for that of an independent coach.
A depression during her PhD not only led to a personal journey in which she got to know herself better, but also to the start of her own company in which she focuses on coaching mainly beta students. But prior to the decision to quit her job and start her own business, she gained years of experience in various positions in the corporate world.
She doesn't regret giving her career a completely different turn. "This was the way I had to go, so I experienced that I need both the scientific and intuitive to be successful and happy."
Prestigious research
During the study of chemical engineering, everything went smoothly, Mellany graduated nominally and decided to do a PhD. A requirement for a research job in business, especially in the organic side of chemistry. She looks back on research on supramolecular biomaterials, partly with hydrogels and partly with surfaces for cell growth in the group of Prof. Dr. Bert Meijer and Prof. Dr. Patricia Dankers, "It was very prestigious research in which everyone worked very hard and was very driven and ambitious." And at that moment I realized that I was no longer the smartest, super smart was very common here", she recalls. "I had a very hard time with that and that made me really stuck at one point and fell into a depression."
Focus on smartness
According to her, a large part of her crisis, as she says herself, lies in the focus on 'her cleverness'. "At school I was always the smartest and performing well was very important to me. That is also the norm in this society, everything is set up for performance from an early age, the higher your grade or education, the better, the more prestige and appreciation you get from your environment. Everything with the mind and intelligence is highly regarded. The head and the hard skills are very important, the feeling gets little attention", she experienced.
Key moment
This was followed by a dark period in which she no longer felt like living. "During a conversation with my boyfriend, now husband, I dared to express this for the first time. That was really a key moment, because for the first time I actually dared to put words to my thought and that was the impetus to go to the GP who referred me to a psychologist.
This was followed by an intensive process of therapy in addition to her PhD, which she completed after five years in 2015, the year in which she also married, became pregnant and became a mother. "Yes, that was an intense year", she agrees, "but I wanted to finish it and that felt good."
The key to success
After she had completed her therapy, it was all rationally clear to her what had gotten her into trouble, but she experienced that the patterns that had caused this were still active. "For example, I was better able to deal with my perfectionism, but I noticed that it didn't click in my body and my feelings yet."
To find out and get to know herself better, she underwent various therapies herself and followed a whole series of courses and training such as dance, zen meditation, family constellations and systemic work. Gradually, she got more and more in touch with her feelings and intuition, a source that she had not tapped into much before. "You need both thinking and feeling, both reason and intuition. The key to success lies in knowing how to combine them and make them work together."
Analytical and strategic
All her training and experience led to her decision to become a coach and to found Move your Senses. She offers various training courses, such as Re-Connect, an online program that focuses on a stronger inner connection between head, body and feelings. But she also coaches one-on-one professionals from the business world in the field of personal development.
She believes that she can be of significance to scientists in particular. "To be truly successful and happy, it is important that there is a connection between head and body. That's where scientists get stuck, they often live very much from their heads and forget that tuning in to their bodies is at least as important", she emphasizes. Because of her own beta background and experience in research, she can also go into depth with a coachee. "This also allows me to think very analytically and strategically about someone's work and career."
A different path
Finally, she says she has nothing against ambition: "If you do what really suits you and it is not at the expense of yourself, there is nothing wrong with it. It is good to realize that every choice you make is good, because you can always adjust, you don't always have to keep walking on the same path. A different path can suit you so much better."
That's why, according to Mellany, it's good to stop every now and then, even if it feels super scary and vulnerable. "Then you notice what is going on inside you and what you really find important."
For example, next spring she will also take a moment - as far as work is concerned - because then she will leave with her family on a world trip. "No, that's not risky, I have assignments ahead and trust that after four months I will just pick up where I left off. With another great experience richer."